Your 50 Favorite Proverbs: #44 I’ve Got a Secret

You’re hanging out with friends. Sharing a meal, sharing your lives. Someone’s name comes up. Someone who isn’t there.

A comment is made. “Have you seen ___?” Then another. “Well, I heard ___.”

Heads turn in your direction. Seems you know the person they’re talking about better than anyone else at the table.

What happens next depends on how willing we are to honor this week’s verse and the One who wrote it.

This isn’t about heaping guilt on our shoulders, beloved.
This is about God setting us free from the sin that binds us.

A gossip betrays a confidence,
    but a trustworthy person keeps a secret. Proverbs 11:13

A gossip…

We often think of “gossip” as a verb—something we do. But here it’s a noun—something we are. The kind of person who “can’t keep secrets” (NCV), who likes to “talk about others” (NIRV) and is “always telling stories” (NLV).

If pride is the root of every sin, then gossip is a prime example. Pride prompts us to say, “I know something you don’t know,” often fueled by a desperate need for attention. Look at me. Listen to me. I know a secret. I must be special.

Brimming with a juicy story or surprising discovery, a “gadabout gossip” (MSG) can’t sit still. She (or he) “walketh deceitfully” (DRA) and “goeth guilefully” (WYC), putting not only her mouth in motion, but also her feet. Even in the computer age, gossips are more likely to spill the beans in person, rather than risk a cyber trail. An email or text is easily traced, but murmured words are lost to the winds.

…betrays a confidence,…

And what a cruel betrayal it is, when a gossip “gives away” (GW) the truth or “makes secrets known” (NLV). How many friendships have been destroyed, marriages torn apart, or businesses ruined by an idle word, a whispered rumor, a secret that’s no longer a secret?

For some of us, this sort of behavior isn’t even a temptation, let alone a common practice. We wouldn’t dream of wounding a friend or betraying another’s trust. When we promise, “Your secret is safe with me,” we mean it. If you beg us, “Don’t tell anyone,” we don’t.

Others among us are uncomfortable even reading this verse in Proverbs. Frankly, we love confiding in others or passing along something we’ve heard. We don’t consider ourselves heartless or thoughtless—just curious and gregarious. What we see, we share. What we discover, we uncover.

Only you (and the Lord) know which description fits you. Sadly, I fall in both camps: totally zip-lipped with the big stuff that truly matters, less careful with the small stuff that seems insignificant but really isn’t.

For those of us who walk in victory, glory to God.
For those of us who struggle, a heartfelt prayer.

Heavenly Father, we don’t want to be gossips. We don’t want to be that person who can’t be trusted. Please show us what to do, then empower us to do it. Lock our lips, Lord, and set us free.

…but a trustworthy person…

This is what we all long to be, every one of us. A “true friend” (CEV) with a “faithful heart” (GNV). A “reliable person” (VOICE) and “someone of integrity” (MSG).

The Hebrew word here, aman, means “confirm, support.” That’s the job of every believer: to build up, rather than tear down; to stand beside, not stand in the way.

Even if being a gossip is deeply ingrained in our nature, God is able to change us through the transforming power of the Holy Spirit. In fact, “trustworthy in spirit” (NRSV) gives us a better sense of the Hebrew word in this verse, ruach, meaning “breath, wind, spirit.”

The Holy Spirit provides the strength we need. He gently convicts and thoroughly cleanses. He stirs up edifying words we can (and should) share, and puts a lid on the private confidences meant for our ears alone.

…keeps a secret.

Thanks to the Spirit’s power, we can become a true friend who “conceals the matter” (JUB) and “won’t violate a confidence” (MSG). Those secrets entrusted to us won’t boil over, even when the heat is turned up, because of the Lord’s strength bubbling inside us, and not our own.

Since the Hebrew word, kasah, means “to cover,” I’ve found an easy, practical way to remind myself of this week’s wisdom from Proverbs. Whenever I see a lid—from the stainless steel lids on my cooking pots to the wooden lid on a storage chest—I’ll remember God wants those secrets to remain “covered” (ESV), safely hidden in my heart.

A gossip betrays a confidence,
    but a trustworthy person keeps a secret. Proverbs 11:13

Now it’s your turn

• What has the Lord shown you as we unpacked Proverbs 11:13?

Share your thoughts via Post a Comment below. We’re eager to learn from you, as well as encourage you.

Here’s your Printable of Proverbs 11:13, with four copies of the verse on a single page, ready to cut apart and hang…oh, maybe with your pots and pans (smile).

And check out our weekly pins on Pinterest:

Next Wednesday? The perfect verse for marching into March!

Your grateful sister, Liz
@LizCurtisHiggs #50Proverbs

P.S. Imagine if Mary Magdalene lived in modern Chicago—that’s Mercy Like Sunlight, a contemporary, fictional spin on Mary M.’s biblical story. This novella first appeared in 2001 as the opening half of my nonfiction book Mad Mary, later titled Unveiling Mary Magdalene. Perhaps you’ve already read it? If not, Mary Margaret Delaney’s touching journey toward redemption awaits you on ebook March 18. Fiction lovers can pre-order it now for your Kindle, Nook, and other ereader devices.