I didn’t marry until I was 32, so I had plenty of time to consider what kind of guy would make a great husband. Tall, dark, and handsome weren’t even on the list. My top 5? Trustworthy, joyful, confident, flexible, generous. And, above all, a man after God’s own heart.
When I met my dear Bill, who has all those fine qualities and more, I found out what he was looking for in a wife. Uh-oh. At the top of his list? A woman he could trust completely.
Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value. Proverbs 31:11
Before my unmarried sisters are tempted to pass on this proverb, here’s something to think about. If you focus on becoming the kind of person you’d like to marry—thoughtful, loving, sincere, faithful—you’re more likely to attract a man who admires the same qualities.
And if that guy never comes along? Then you will be an amazing, godly woman who pleases the One who loves you best. “For your Maker is your husband—the Lord Almighty is his name” (Isaiah 54:5).
Whatever your future may hold, beloved, you’ll live happily ever after if you’re wrapped in His loving embrace.
…has full confidence in her…
Full confidence. As in 100%. The kind of woman that a man “relies on and believes in” (AMP). All the time. In every situation.
When her husband “entrusts his heart to her” (CEB), he does so willingly, knowing she has offered her heart in return, and he is “safe with her” (VOICE).
Still, it may take a few turns of the calendar before a husband trusts his wife “without reserve” (MSG). After all, you can fall in love, but you can’t fall in trust. Trust is based on time, experience, and year-in, year-out faithfulness. Even those of us who’ve been married for decades might be surprised to learn what really makes our men feel confident.
When I taught a Bible study on Proverbs 31, I gave everyone a simple homework assignment: “Ask your husband, ‘What speaks love to you?’”
One husband said he treasured the look in his wife’s eyes when he entered the room. Another said the way his wife addressed him in conversation revealed her true feelings for him. And a third husband confessed that the sacrifices his wife willingly made on their behalf were the deepest expression of her love for him.
It isn’t our words so much as our actions that say, I love you. God’s Word confirms that too: “Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth” (1 John 3:18).
Maybe that’s why last Wednesday morning, the Lord put my husband’s trust in me to the test.
Don’t talk, Liz. Act.
I was behind the wheel as we breezed along a narrow country road, when a car coming from the opposite direction swerved into our lane, headed straight for us.
The road had no shoulder, no passing lane, and no obvious way I could escape a head-on collision.
With only a split second to act, I whispered, “Help, Lord!”, then dove into the grassy embankment, steering around a telephone poll, a large electrical transformer, an enormous tree, and one very long fence.
When I braked to a stop without hitting any of the above, I was amazingly calm. No tears, no trembling hands. Clearly, I wasn’t the One who’d spared us.
Another car pulled up behind us, also forced off the road. “Are you okay?” the anxious driver wanted to know.
“Fine,” we both assured her, blinking at each other in astonishment. We were fine. So was our car. So was our marriage. Bill’s trust in me was not misplaced.
Thank you, Lord Jesus.
…and lacks nothing of value.
Nothing is more valuable than the lives of those we love. Here, though, the Hebrew word shalal means “spoil, plunder, booty.” So, a husband with a trustworthy wife has “no need for robbery” (WYC) or “dishonest spoil” (AMP).
He doesn’t have to spend four nights at a casino trying to cover the VISA bill. He “will never be poor” (ERV) because of his wife’s careless spending. Instead, “he has “all the important things he needs” (NIRV).
For all of us, married or not, this verse provides some exceptional qualities worth praying toward:
- Serve as “a great asset” (CJB) wherever God leads us.
- Never give friends a “reason to regret” (MSG) knowing us.
- Make sure the people we love have “every good thing” (VOICE).
- Look for ways to “greatly enrich” (NLT) the lives of others.
Lord Jesus, we can only hope to be trustworthy women if we put our trust in You. If we say with all our hearts, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust” (Psalm 91:2).
Now it’s your turn
- How would you define “trustworthy”?
Can’t believe we’re closing in on August?! We’ll reach your #1 Favorite Proverb on the last day of 2014. Thanks for studying them with me. (And if anyone happened to pray for me on Wednesday morning, bless you!).
Your sister, Liz